Time Pass Videos

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Watch the lions being beaten up by brave buffalos!!Dramatic!!

a story of three men

One morning at a doctor surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?"

The patient replies

"You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back"

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?" He replied,

"You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.... .?"

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"

Professor at IIMs explaining marketing concepts

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very
rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of
the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride
and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public
Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. -
"That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's
demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry me?" and she
goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for
entering new markets"

Bill Gates Meets His Programmer - Joke

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stands over him and says, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go."

Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"

Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.

When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was beautiful and clean, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."

Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill looked up, yelled for God, told him his decision and was sent to Hell for eternity.

Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons.

"So, how is everything going?" God asked.

Bill responded with a cracking voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to the other place...with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women?"

"That was the demo," replied God.